I am suspicious that my neighbor is a vampire. Is there something I should do?

Garlic in Virginia


There are many myths about vampires that are very popular. Don’t bother shining lights in his eyes, making the sign of the cross, or asking him to check his reflection in the mirror. While these recorded symptoms of the vampiric virus have been shown to be legitimate, they are not consistent. The only thing you can be sure about is that he needs blood.

Little known fact: Vampires have a chemical dependency on blood (that’s not the little-known part) but their own blood type is actually toxic to them (there she is). So is your neighbour a vampire? I’ll answer that question with another: Is he allergic to his own blood type? Figure it out. 


Third Wheel


My girlfriend has been bitten, and now she’s hanging around with the Alpha vampire a lot. I don’t want to be clingy, but I really, really like her! What’s the line where I go from normal jealous to creepy and annoying jealous? 

Third Wheel in the Keys 

Third Wheel, 

Trick question: normal for vampires IS creepy and annoying. So just go with your least healthy instincts.