Garlic

Alistair,

I am suspicious that my neighbor is a vampire. Is there something I should do?

Garlic in Virginia


Garlic,

There are many myths about vampires that are very popular. Don’t bother shining lights in his eyes, making the sign of the cross, or asking him to check his reflection in the mirror. While these recorded symptoms of the vampiric virus have been shown to be legitimate, they are not consistent. The only thing you can be sure about is that he needs blood.

Little known fact: Vampires have a chemical dependency on blood (that’s not the little-known part) but their own blood type is actually toxic to them (there she is). So is your neighbour a vampire? I’ll answer that question with another: Is he allergic to his own blood type? Figure it out. 

Alistair