Alistair,

I recently spoke with a man who claimed to be a door-to-door phone service salesman. Once I signed the contract, however, I found out that I had signed away my soul as part of the contract. Unfortunately, the service is fantastic so I don’t want to get out of the contract wholesale. Any advice for just the soul clause?

Hearing You Now in Kassel

Hearing You,

The short answer is No. This door-to-door salesman was never that interested in providing you with a phone service so much as he was keen on getting his hands on your soul. Your question is as silly as asking if there’s a way to get a regular service provider to give you four bars without the unpleasantness of having to pay phone bills. The answer, in most cases, is just simply No.

All that said, a regular phone provider doesn’t particularly care where you got the money with which you pay your bill. They don’t care, for example, if it’s even your money. They simply don’t ask questions as long as the bill is paid. You feel me?

Alistair