Alistair,

I found out that my neighbor is a closet millionaire. He has only one daughter.

What does your gut say? Kidnap or marry?

Thanks,

Wants to be a Millionaire in Colorado

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Wants,

Those are the choices? Hold the daughter for ransom or marry her for inheritance? Quite honestly, there are lots of easier ways to make this millionaire’s money your own. Off the top of my head, I might suggest that you simply ask him for it, or maybe create and substitute a complicated fake will.

But no. You insist on involving his daughter. This makes me think that your motives aren’t as exclusively monetary as you make them seem. This may be alien to you, as I suspect that someone whose first thoughts match yours is only passingly acquainted with human thought processes; I suggest bearing that in mind in the future.

So I vote Marry, because that way you get both woman and mammon. You run the risk of his not leaving everything to her, but if you go the kidnapping route, there’s a good chance that you won’t earn a cent and Stockholm Syndrome is not guaranteed. So. Play the odds, boyo.

Alistair