Alistair,
What can you tell me about the mysterious black building that appeared at opposite sides of the world simultaneously?
Concerned in Auckland
Concerned,
All I can tell you about these buildings is that you shouldn’t be concerned. Not even when you notice a lot of gorillas using them. Not even when you see one of the buildings hovering over a cotton candy factory. Only know this, Concerned: Our world is going places. Literally.
Alistair
Alistair,
I’ve conflicted with my future and past self; there was a battle royale, lots of people died. Thank goodness it was only me.
However, after destroying my time machine, I went out for bagels and coffee and encountered the Butterfly Effect. Gorillas are no longer the dominant lifeform, the angels never made contact, and Bon Jovi turned into a pop singer. What should I do?
Messed Up in Sudan
Messed,
You idiot. Change it back! Actually – you know what? Leave well enough alone. Finish your coffee. Go and collect Sudanese stamps. Just stay the dickens away from time-travel for the remainder of your linear days. For penance, you are obliged to listen to What is Love exclusively from this day forth.
Alistair
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