Big Bro


I’m King of the Summer Solstice. It’s not a bad gig, pretty respected in fact. My little brother, though, is my opposite number and gets all the praise. The combination of him being in direct competition with me and winning is just too much. He doesn’t even get it – thinks we’re partners, in a sense. I guess he’s right, but it still rubs me the wrong way. Is he just being oblivious to natural reactions, or am I overreacting? 

Big Bro in Houston 

Big Bro, 

You are not overreacting at all. You have not been equals since 1816 when he showed the world how delicate your kingdom can be. To return a balance of attention to yourself, you need to overthrow your little brother on at least one Yuletide. This game-changing moment of Yule-pocalypse will result in you becoming the true King of Seasons, which will bring praise back to you and balance back to the universe. How to do that is significantly more complex; I recommend conferring with some elves – they’re good with conspiracies, the little punks.