Chuckles

Alistair,
I am an ancient demigod, returned from a death that was no death for one of my stature. In the meantime, my look was co-opted by a children’s show character. Now, everyone who encounters me is, instead of awed and terrified, mildly amused. What should I do to regain my sense of terrible presence?
Chuckles in New Amsterdam


Chuckles,
I’m sure that by now you’re very tired of being told to make the best of the situation. True, some malevolent ancient beings have been able to work with an innocent or whimsical appearance and even to make a net benefit, you seem to lack the necessary je ne sais quoi to properly pull it off. However, there is this to be considered: Children’s show characters are, by and large, not created in a vacuum (certain exceptions notwithstanding). They are designed to appeal to children, using bright colors and simple shapes in a sort of pleasant condescension. If you do, in fact, resemble a children’s show character, some measure of these likely apply to you. Humanity is afraid of many things – the dark, their own minds, the phrase “We need to talk”, anything smaller than them, anything bigger than them, anything that looks too much like them, anything that looks nothing like them – but from a frankly staggering list “Bright colors and simple shapes” may be unsettling in large quantities but not, on their own, frightening.

What I’m suggesting is that perhaps nostalgia has gotten the better of you. You say that everyone is amused and not frightened, but throw your mind back and wonder if perhaps those memories of frightened masses are, in fact, a little rose-colored fiction. I advise learning to love yourself and becoming a stunt double for your presumably more well-adjusted doppelganger.

Alistair