Tag Archives: pro tips

Small God

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Alistair,

I’ve found and conducted an ascension rite, elevating me to the status of a deity. It turns out, though, that taking proper precautions waters down the effect. Rather than being a physical avatar of some universal constant, it turns out that I’m all-powerful only as long as I’m affecting the third copy of forms printed in triplicate.

Now what?

Small God in Quebec

Small God,

Well, as far as human beings go, you do have a superpower, so that puts you in the 4% of humans who can do physically impossible crap… it makes you special. However, you aren’t human anymore. You’re a deity. As deities go, you suck. Not only are your powers fairly limited, but with the rapidly digitizing trend of our increasingly paperless world, your powers are only going to decrease in scope of usefulness.

Here’s the pro tip. Don’t tell anyone you’re a god. Just be a human who has a cool talent. The people who care what happens on the third copy of forms printed in triplicate will find you quite impressive.

Alistair

Future

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Alistair,

I work in a classified job. Not long ago, I was offered the chance to be a guinea pig for some R&D. Afraid I can’t give more info. Should I go for it?

The Future in Connecticut

Future,

Seasoned travelers know that at any given point they need to have their passport, their wallet, and their towel. As long as those items are guaranteed, everything else is replaceable. Likewise, seasoned R&D guinea pigs know that at any given point, you just have to know that your face, brain, and unmentionables are safe. As long as those items are guaranteed, everything else is replaceable.

Alistair