Alistair,

I’m a single man who has never been in a serious relationship with a woman. All of a sudden there is a very pretty lady at my work who is expressing a lot of interest in me. I want to think it’s real, but I’m pretty sure that she’s just an assassin hired to off me before I can complete my MEGA MILLIONS Jackpot algorithm. Do I believe her, or do I assume she’s trying to kill me?

Panicking in the Ozarks

Panicking,

As a good rule of thumb, always assume romantic interests are attempting to kill you. It’s far better to take the initiative and have a whirlwind romance now while keeping your escape route open than it is to go slowly only to be disappointed in both life and love when the assassination comes. Calculate your risk. I have to assume that you’re quite good at this now, although if we’re perfectly honest your “Lottery Beating System” would probably be lost in the endless noise of Psychics and wishful math majors who have the system cracked; they really mean it this time.

Alistair