Alistair,

I’m a sleeper agent assigned to break into a top secret NGO. Turns out it’s actually a bunch of ragtag friends trying to take on the world with nothing but pluck and courage. I’m genuinely befriending a few of them, and possibly even more with one. How do I balance this newfound work/life balance?

The Sixth Ranger in [EXPUNGED]

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Sixth Ranger,

It’s famously difficult to serve two masters. A lot of people have commented on the struggle.

The pipe dream here would be that you somehow make your precious friends and their cause indispensable to your original employer so that they all find themselves working together toward a shared goal, with you remaining a member of that merry band as a liaison. Like I said, pipe dream right there.

There’s a 98% chance that you’ll have to choose either your government or your friends while betraying the other. There’s a 1.956% chance that both sides have already figured out that your loyalties are split and are just trying to see how much use they can get out of you before burning you. 

So either hold out hope for that .044% chance pipe dream or… do your dang job.

Alistair