Tag Archives: bruce

Na+

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Alistair,

Help resolve an argument between my brother and I. Ghosts are undead people, and ghosts are badly affected by salt. Vampires are also undead people. Therefore, shouldn’t salt badly affect vampires?

Na+ in Portland

Na+,

On the contrary, my witless amateur. Your logical train is seriously flawed. Elephants are mammals and afraid of mice + Bruce is mammalian ≠ Bruce is afraid of mice. Well, he is, actually, but could easily not be and still be mammalian. Besides, vampires drink blood – a fluid rich in salt! So that’s got you sorted.

Alistair

Forgetful

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Alistair, 

What have I got in my pocket? 

Forgetful in MM 

Forgetful, 

It took a while to figure this out, as it’s a complicated bit of sympathetic cohesion. While ordinarily a routine process, you need to understand that it kept getting all screwy this time. I had to perform a sort of linked-step quantum entanglement to trace back to your pocket. On top of that, the salt circle kept getting scuffed up, and I had to have Bruce redraw the thing four times, then it turned out he had the schematics upside-down, so I was checking a parallel universe. Having traced it back, it turns out that your pockets are empty, aside from some lint. I can only assume that you’re a smart-aleck, or that we checked the wrong pair of pants. 

Alistair