Alistair,
My pet iguana believes he is a colonial-era British explorer. Do I play into the delusion or try to bring him around.
Lizard Lover in Calgary
Lizard,
Cost of a lizard-sized pith helmet: $45
Cost of reptile therapy: $180 per session
Do the math.
Alistair
Alistair,
I think my boyfriend is a vampire. Should I cut him off or try to reform him?
Sparkles in Washington
Sparkles,
So you think that your man is a vampire and you want to bring him to your side… presumably the non-vampiric side. In my experience (and, quite honestly, the experience of anyone who is even passingly familiar with vampires), conversions between humans and vampires usually go in one direction and it’s not the one you’re thinking. Quite honestly, it’s only surprising that you’ve not already been bitten.
You say that you “think” he’s a vampire. Revisit the possibility that you’re wrong.
Alistair
Alistair,
I’m a member of a secret society (you’ll see in a moment why that isn’t a terribly ironic thing to say). I just found out that there’s at least sixteen different ones, all of them working at random cross-purposes. It strikes me that this isn’t exactly efficient, and I get the feeling that all of these random power grabs leave us exactly where we were before. I suppose what I’m asking is: Do I need to found a super-organization with its fingers in everyone’s pie?
Cloak and Dagger in Nottingham
Cloak and Dagger,
Do you need to? Obviously not.
Should you? Still no. Very dangerous.
Could you? Theoretically. Assuming that you’re willing to assume the risk, you could conceivably become the most powerful person alive.
A word to the wise: Almost every attempt to consolidate power has been doomed to a brutal overthrow from the outset. See: The Roman Empire; Alexander the Great; Napoleon Bonaparte; Google LLC; The United Djinn Confederacy; etc. One of the most reliable laws of nature is that people will choose any fate over the indignity of being “consolidated”.
Trust me on this one.
Alistair
Alistair,
What can you tell me about the mysterious black building that appeared at opposite sides of the world simultaneously?
Concerned in Auckland
Concerned,
All I can tell you about these buildings is that you shouldn’t be concerned. Not even when you notice a lot of gorillas using them. Not even when you see one of the buildings hovering over a cotton candy factory. Only know this, Concerned: Our world is going places. Literally.
Alistair
Alistair,
Last weekend, it finally happened. I met the love of my life. He’s funny, gorgeous, and hard working. The only hitch is that he occasionally has to go home, to the dimension Kysagoh’as. How do you keep the spark alive when the other person is out of contact?
Happily Ever After in Newark
Happily,
With some inter-dimensional portal models, you can mod out the relative time conductor so he will only be gone for a couple of hours in your time, regardless of how long he might be in Kysagoh’as. The one downside to this is that he will still have to deal with missing you for the duration of his stay in his home-dimension. Also, you have to realize that you’re essentially pausing your life while he continues to live his own to avoid being without him. A touching notion, but not necessarily a healthy one relationship-wise.
Try phone calls.
Alistair
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