Chocolate and Roses


I’m in love with a really great girl. She’s sweet, funny and undead. Not like vampire-undead…. she’s a zombie. My question is, how does one woo a zombie?

Chocolate and Roses in Bangkok


Chocolate and Roses,

Zombies are among the few humans who truly like you for your brains. In severe cases of zombic decay, this manifests in the zombie’s desire to break your head open like a little melon and snack on your actual brain matter. In cases of minimal zombic decay, you’re basically dealing with a dead human who might as well be alive for all the difference it makes… except that they still like brains. Fortunately, they like them more in a attracted-to-intelligence sort of way rather than the going-to-kill-and-eat-you sort of way.

So until you figure out what sort of zombie you’re in love with, try your best to always look and sound clever while keeping a baseball bat handy.