Picky People Eater

Alistair,

Is there a way to put in requests for what kind of undead you’d like to be?

Picky People Eater in Kailua

 

Dear Picky,

Yes, there absolutely are a number of forms to be filled out, though a lot of them involve stacking bones and lighting things on fire. Don’t count on anyone paying attention to them, however. Not only is there a very long waiting list for the preferred forms of undead (generally: sentient, at least marginally powerful, and typically benevolent), but the entities in charge of the assignment rarely take them into account. When they do, there’s a very high likelihood that they will instead shuttle you to the most similar form currently short-stocked, which may or may not have the specific traits that you were interested in. As in most things, your best bet is to try and put in a good word with someone in a clerical position and see if they’ll pull some strings. It’s practically guaranteed not to work, but the word ‘practically’ is included, so it’s at least worth a shot.

Alistair