Sparkles

Alistair,

I think my boyfriend is a vampire. Should I cut him off or try to reform him?

Sparkles in Washington

Sparkles,

Men never change – women invariably change. If your girlfriend was a vampire, I’d give reformation a shot. As it’s your boyfriend in question, there’s only one thing to do: cut that sucker off (note that in this instance ‘sucker’ is not a slur for vampires in general).

Alistair