Panicking

Alistair,

I’m a single man who has never been in a serious relationship with a woman. All of a suden there is a very pretty lady at my work who is expressing a lot of interest in me. I want to think it’s real, but I’m pretty sure that she’s just an assassin hired to off me before I can complete my MEGA MILLIONS Jackpot algorithm. Do I believe her, or do I assume she’s trying to kill me?

Panicking in the Ozarks

Panicking,

As a good rule of thumb, always assume romantic interests are attempting to kill you. Past bitter experience has shown me that it’s far better to take the initiative and have a whirlwind romance now while keeping your escape route open than it is to go slowly only to be disappointed in both life and love when the assassination comes. Calculate your risk.

Moving on to your second point, your MEGA MILLIONS algorithm interests me. We’ll get in touch with you soon.

Alistair