Harried Son

Alistair,

Should we be worried about the portents going around? Plagues of locusts, darkness covering the face of the earth, inhuman screams from within the bowels of the deep. I mean, it’s a bit worrisome, but my Mom is making a huge deal out of it. If I don’t calm her down, I’m gonna lose it.

Harried Son in San Diego

Harried,

Yes, it is a huge deal. Yes, these screams from the deep’s bowels are actual portents and not just passing moments of screaming bowel. Yes, these are signs that at any moment now the world will end. Important detail: You can’t actually do anything about it. Whether the world and in a week, a century or before you can even read this response, it really doesn’t matter. When it’s time, it’s time; every moment that you live is a moment when it isn’t yet time. Say your prayers and eat as many Fruit Loops as you can because those adorable little rings are not making it into Heaven.

Alistair