For a Friend

Earlier this week, Alistair was asked if it was possible to bring a pet cat back to life. The answer was yes: The cat can be readily reanimated because of the soullessness of cats. Another reader is asking for further details:

Alistair,

Does it work for gingers? Asking for a friend.

Simon A.

Dear Simon,

No. While this aspect of gingers has been questioned frequently over the years, the reality is that they do, in fact, have souls. . . Uncanny, complicated, orangeish souls that use different operating systems than those of regular humans, but souls nonetheless. When it comes to the question of bringing a ginger back to life, you can forget it. The process becomes outrageously laborious, dangerous and expensive as soon as a creature has anything soul-like. This is only made more difficult by the fact that you’re trying to replace a ginger soul, which is classified as a specialty OS.

Again, the answer is no. I can’t stress this enough.

Alistair