Wants to be a Millionaire


I found out that my neighbor is a closet millionaire. He has only one daughter.

What does your gut say? Kidnap or marry?


Wants to be a Millionaire in Colorado


Dear Wants,

You’ve skimmed over the important part: How did your neighbor get his wealth? Was it through legal and/or political means – leaving him well-connected with skilled divorce lawyers – or shooting and hacking a swath through fields of desperate opponents? A few moments of brain-work – or even gut-work, if you have a particularly clever gut – should provide a framework for your decision. A convenient way to determine which category he falls under is to take him to dinner at a jackets-required restaurant. If he offers to pay and enjoys himself immensly, it’s the former. If he’s amusingly gruff and uncomfortable, it’s the swath-hacker.